I’m back! 💪😎

It is hard to believe that the picture on the left was only 3 months ago. No energy, no colour, no hair, no eyelashes, no eyebrows and no motivation.

I know it has been awhile since my last blog but once I was done chemo I wanted a break from the “cancer life”. aka talking or doing anything that involved cancer or chemo etc. I wanted to enjoy not having to go to the hospital for appointments or update loved ones on how good or bad I was doing. I just wanted to live and do my best to get myself back to feeling like ME again. But the world had other plans! I was done my last chemo treatment mid April right when the world was shutting down. Here I am finally free and wanting to get out and explore this new city we moved to and Covid-19 took over. I actually opted out of my last chemo treatment all together with the permission of my doctor of course, as this was when covid cases were at their highest and me being immunocompromised I did not want to take any risks. I was also SO ready to be done my chemo, even one more treatment felt like absolute torture.

So the world was shut down and I was pretty much bound to my apartment, so I decided pretty close after my last treatment that I would start back to my training and lose all that chemo weight gain! I had big plans for myself to bounce right back! What I didn’t realize is my post chemo body is not the same as my pre chemo body. My hormones are different, I have no energy, I have lost a ton of muscle mass and of course as I mentioned before gained a lot of body fat. For 3 – 4 weeks of perfect nutrition, daily cardio and 3 to 4 strength workouts a week, the scale did not budge! Needless to say I was pissed. I just wanted my old life, my old body, my old everything back! I did my best to get out of my head and persist. Slowly but surely I am now down 10 lbs since finishing chemo. It’s a start! I am determined to get my body back and maybe push my progress even further than before! Show this cancer bull shit that it did not win and push even harder 💪

Finishing chemo during the pandemic was bitter sweet. I did not get to ring a bell, or celebrate with loved ones. But not being fully ready to join the world again due to my immune system and having the world on shut down kind of worked out in my favour. I was no longer feeling like the only one stuck at home because everyone was now stuck at home! haha. #sorrynotsorry

Six weeks after finishing chemo I had to go in for one last PET scan to confirm all the cancer was gone. This was nerve wracking. I was positive it was all clear but you still get what we who have had cancer call “scanxiety” Thankfully just as I thought, the scans were clear! Yay! Reason again to celebrate, but the world was still shut down. Although, I did have a wonderful birthday/cancer free party with some close family and Chris did everything he could to make that day special. He spent the entire day before preparing all my favorite foods and if any of you have us on Facebook you would have seen the 3 tier cake he made for me as well! Bottom layer was orange crush, middle layer was chocolate, top layer was strawberry made with real pureed strawberries, and the icing was pink marshmallow butter cream. The cake was then draped in fondant, drizzled with 3 different colours of chocolate and he hand made butterflies and unicorns out of fondant to decorate! He sure is a keeper. 😍

Since my last scan over all I have felt pretty good. I would say pretty much every day I am feeling more energy and more strength. I even squatted 135lbs last night for a 1 rep max! That is nowhere near my max from before having cancer but its a fantastic start. The only ongoing issue I had not only during my chemo but post chemo was extremely sore breasts. Sorry to my Dad and brother and any other family that is reading this! lol. But after going through something so traumatic I was not about to wait out this pain. I got my doctor to book me a mammogram. I was absolutely terrified but it is something I would have to start doing at some point in my life anyways so why not now when I am having some concern. I was lucky and got an ultrasound instead of the squish your tit kind of exam hahahaha. The doctor was able to tell me before I even left that it was all clear! Nothing to be worried about. Phew! I have concluded that the breast pain could be a mix of growing pains (weight gain) and hormonal changes but I will for sure be doing my self checks every month to be sure!

I am going to start getting back to my blog as it is a great way to get out my thoughts and my experiences and hopefully help or inspire others along the way. Thank you all for following along my journey and for all the kind messages you have sent!

I also wanted to do a special thank you to my family who really stepped up to the plate for me during my darkest time. I love and appreciate all of you. 💗

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